[ty] Shrink size of `AstNodeRef` (#20028)
## Summary
Removes the `module_ptr` field from `AstNodeRef` in release mode, and
change `NodeIndex` to a `NonZeroU32` to reduce the size of
`Option<AstNodeRef<_>>` fields.
I believe CI runs in debug mode, so this won't show up in the memory
report, but this reduces memory by ~2% in release mode.
