Respect self-constraints on recursive extras (#9714)
## Summary
Sort of ridiculous, but today this passes, when it should fail:
```toml
[project]
name = "foo"
version = "0.1.0"
description = "Add your description here"
readme = "README.md"
requires-python = ">=3.13.0"
dependencies = []
[project.optional-dependencies]
async = [
"foo[async]==0.2.0",
]
```
