Be smarter about the GLIBCXX_USE_CXX11_ABI default (#155781)
It appears that unconditionally using GLIBCXX_USE_CXX11_ABI=0 is slow on
modern libstdc++, while using GLIBCXX_USE_CXX11_ABI=1 breaks old
buildbots, so use the compiler default unless asked to do differently.