link mpi when either use_mpi or use_nccl enabled (#14467)
### Only link mpi when either use_mpi or use_nccl enabled
To fix the issue https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/issues/14278.
Talked with @askhade, we think if users want to enable NCCL/MPi but MPI
is not found, it should be failure instead of warning.
So this PR made the change. As a result, to make CIs pass, we need
disable NCCL/MPI explicitly in the build command. This PR take an
alternative approach, e.g. since NCCL and MPi are not used for
customers, disable NCCL by default if "--disable_nccl" not specified,
disable MPI by default if "--use_mpi" not specified.
### Motivation and Context
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