Fix 1.20 cuda minimal build failure (#22751)
### Description
Fixes build failure for the cuda minimal build
### Motivation and Context
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- If it fixes an open issue, please link to the issue here. -->
[This change](https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/pull/19470) in
1.20 is causing build failures for the cuda minimal build.
Essentially, some cudnn logic was not guarded by the `USE_CUDA_MINIMAL`.
Also the build is looking for cudnn while in the cuda minimal build it
shouldn't depend on it, resulting in linking error.
cc @gedoensmax @chilo-ms
