gh-37054: `CODE_OF_CONDUCT.md`: Do not send people to sage-flame
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Facts:
- The only place where sage-flame is mentioned is at the bottom of the
Code of Conduct, moved from the Sage wiki to the repository in Apr 2022
in #33565 (this PR has pointers to the discussions that established the
Code in 2014, including the role of sage-flame)
- Moving discussions to sage-flame is the *only* sanction that is
mentioned in the Code of Conduct.
- The sage-flame list/group has not seen a use after 2019.
Here we remove the mention of sage-flame from the Code of Conduct; not
only because it has fallen out of actual use, but also because it is
harmful:
- It is the only sanction mentioned in CoC, and it paints the picture of
symmetric behavior: two or more participants engage in a "heated
discussion".
- Hence it ignores the asymmetric nature of abuse: There is an abuser,
and there is a target of the abuse.
- Sending both to sage-flame is inappropriate and harmful, as it
effectively downplays and legitimizes the conduct of the abuser.
References:
- https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/managing-smart/damage-done-
dealing-narcissists-workplace
- https://edib.harvard.edu/calling-and-calling-out-guide
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### :hourglass: Dependencies
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URL: https://github.com/sagemath/sage/pull/37054
Reported by: Matthias Köppe
Reviewer(s): roed314
