Ensure ncclCommAbort can abort stuck ncclCommInitRank (#103264)
https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/95715 added the functionality to abort `ncclCommInitRankConfig` by specifying `blocking=0` to enable non-blocking behavior.
However, calling the `pg._abort()` didn't recover from a stuck `ncclCommInitRankConfig` since the `_abort` method only looked through `devNCCLCommMap_` map and aborted those communicators. Since `ncclCommInitRankConfig` was stuck, the communicator itself wasn't added to the map and the host thread was stuck on this line: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/blob/main/torch/csrc/distributed/c10d/ProcessGroupNCCL.cpp#L1171. As a result, `_abort` was a no-op.
To resolve this issue, I added the communicators to `inProgressCommMap_` as soon as they were created and then removed them once added to `devNCCLCommMap_`.
I also added a unit test that was failing without the changes to ProcessGroupNCCL.cpp
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/103264
Approved by: https://github.com/kwen2501
