Revert "match sdpa patterns from HF (#100609)"
This reverts commit 0a7ea9627f087afef5c59b2500e018abb6c3c1b5.
Reverted https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/100609 on behalf of https://github.com/izaitsevfb due to Breaks internal tests, see D45899223 ([comment](https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/100609#issuecomment-1550349249))
