[Upstream _NamedOptimzer] Reland PR (89480) (#90293)
Stack from [ghstack](https://github.com/ezyang/ghstack) (oldest at bottom):
Reland https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/89480/
* #90294
* __->__ #90293
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/90293
Approved by: https://github.com/awgu
