[DDP] Use compiled_autograd to trace DDP backward allreduce (#110662)
**Summary**
The reducer of `DistributedDataParallel` is implemented with C++ and it is not easy to trace the allreduce launched in the reducer. This PR modifies `DistributedDataParallel` to launch one allreduce per gradient when `compiled_autograd` is enabled. The changes allow us to use `compiled_autograd` to trace the allreduce and later be optimized (fused) in the Inductor.
**Key Logic**
1. If `ddp_python_hook` is True, we assume `compiled_autograd` is used. `DistributedDataParallel` registers `compiled_accum_grad_hook` for all parameters.
2. In the first forward() call, if `DistributedDataParallel` is not compiled, all `compiled_accum_grad_hook` are deregistered. If `DistributedDataParallel` is compiled, all `compiled_accum_grad_hook` will be compiled by `compiled_autograd`.
3. `compiled_accum_grad_hook` launches an allreduce to reduce the gradient of the parameter.
**Bucketing**
The compiled backward is slow because there is no bucketing for the allreduces. We rely on Inductor to bucket the allreduces.
The bucketing is done in a separate PR.
Differential Revision: [D49428482](https://our.internmc.facebook.com/intern/diff/D49428482/)
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/110662
Approved by: https://github.com/wconstab
