Fix C API to be compatible with latest 3.11 beta (#81242)
Based off https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/80511 with extra changes:
- Update pybind to the latest release as it contains some needed fixes
- Extend the compat header to do reduce changes in code
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/81242
Approved by: https://github.com/malfet, https://github.com/mattip
