Revert "match sdpa patterns from HF (#100609)"
This reverts commit f33725b82b83703df1d1135cc34a64a1b2b856a9.
Reverted https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/100609 on behalf of https://github.com/izaitsevfb due to Based on #100064, which needs to be reverted due to diff-train issues. ([comment](https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/100609#issuecomment-1552089472))
