When dealing with dupe arguments, prefer leafifying if possible (#89896)
See code comment for details. I also had to do some extra fixes:
* `run_functionalized_fw_and_collect_metadata` now is able to handle duplicated arguments
* `aot_wrapper_dedupe` now always returns boxed compiled functions
* `aot_wrapper_dedupe` is now applied to inference compiler along with autograd compiler (preexisting)
Fixes https://github.com/pytorch/torchdynamo/issues/1939
Fixes DebertaV2ForQuestionAnswering DebertaForMaskedLM DebertaForQuestionAnswering DebertaV2ForMaskedLM
Repro command:
```
python benchmarks/dynamo/huggingface.py --performance --float32 -dcuda --training --inductor --no-skip --dashboard --only DebertaForQuestionAnswering --cold_start_latency
```
Signed-off-by: Edward Z. Yang <ezyang@fb.com>
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/89896
Approved by: https://github.com/bdhirsh
