[FSDP] Move `_post_backward_called` to `_init_param_attributes` (#81243)
This moves the initialization of `_post_backward_called` on each `FlatParameter` from the body of `_lazy_init()` to inside `_init_param_attributes()` (which is called in `_lazy_init()`).
Differential Revision: [D37931854](https://our.internmc.facebook.com/intern/diff/D37931854)
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/81243
Approved by: https://github.com/rohan-varma