[dynamo] Desugar accumulate_grad, fix .grad handling (#120590)
Fixes https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/issues/118435
Fixes https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/issues/119906
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/120590
Approved by: https://github.com/ezyang, https://github.com/jansel
ghstack dependencies: #120520