[reland] make intrusive_ptr as a pybind holder type (#47586)
Summary:
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/47586
relanding PR of https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/44492, and add
additional Capsule related wrapping to ensure we still have the correct
type in pybind11 to resolve Capsule as torch._C.CapsuleType
Test Plan: Imported from OSS
Reviewed By: gmagogsfm
Differential Revision: D24822519
Pulled By: wanchaol
fbshipit-source-id: eaaea446fb54b56ed3b0d04c31481c64096e9459
