NODE_OPTIONS updates (#65006)
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### What?
Previously, parsing and managing the `NODE_OPTIONS` was performed using
a series of regular expressions. These were prone to bugs, and have
already caused a few issues. This moves us over to the standard
`parseArgs`
([docs](https://nodejs.org/docs/latest/api/util.html#utilparseargsconfig)):
```js
import { parseArgs } from "node:utils"
```
### Why?
This simplifies the argument parser dramatically, removing the need for
any special patterns or accommodations. No need to maintain all these
patterns when there's a lightweight built-in parser already available.
Fixes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/issues/53127
Fixes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/issues/53757
Fixes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/issues/47083
Fixes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/issues/50489
Closes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/pull/60919
Closes https://github.com/vercel/next.js/pull/59410
Closes NEXT-3219
