[Core] Extensible KV cache: treat a connector's custom memory pool as unsupported
Upstream #49300 lets a KV connector (Mooncake Store with `custom_mem_pool`,
NVLINK or BAREX) supply the pool the KV cache is allocated from, so the memory
it registers comes from its own allocator. The extensible KV cache is mapped
through the driver and never allocates from a torch pool, so the request would
be ignored silently. Resolve it like `kv_cache_memory_bytes`: the feature is
off by default when a connector (directly or under MultiConnector) sets
`custom_mem_pool`, and an explicit request is an error. Mooncake already
rejects the pool together with sleep mode and the cumem allocator for the same
reason.
Signed-off-by: Nick Hill <nickhill123@gmail.com>
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <noreply@anthropic.com>